I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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