This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
