Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
