i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
