one two three fourrrrnication!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize