It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i dont even know how to be here
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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