I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
