I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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