actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
