She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
