I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
