Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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