she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
