also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize