I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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