you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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