I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
