ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm passing your future prison.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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