Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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