So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
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