You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
