Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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