At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
