eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize