found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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