That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
