I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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