found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
