oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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