Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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