Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
