Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
