Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
