he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
two words...techno handjob
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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