I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drunk is not a location!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
