Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
