Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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