how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
