This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
