Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
