it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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