I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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