I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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