just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
