Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
