Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
