Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
