So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
