How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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