If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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