We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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