the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
