I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
