That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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