ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
