Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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