i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
