At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
