3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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