God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
