omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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