I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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